It is so cold....

How cold is it? At the moment it's -18C/0F, and with wind chill,
-30C/-22F.

How cold is it? So cold I see steam rising from the unfrozen Lake Ontario as if it were a giant hot spring.

How cold is it? So cold I saw a high school girl walking down the street in short pants and flip-flops. At first I thought she was wearing bright pink tights, but when I got closer I saw it was just the frozen bare skin on her legs. Was she making a statement? Was it performance art? I'll never know.

How cold is it? So cold I feel really worried for Wendy who out working the streets tonight (she's an outreach worker). She almost forgot her mittens, and that would have been bad because I am fond of her fingers.

How cold is it? So cold the heat in our building has gone out. This always seems to happen without fail when the temperatures reach bitter, almost satanic, cold.

How cold is it? Ok, at this point I can see Rev. Shawn, Brother Adam, and the rest of Manitoba laughing at me. Dudes, I'm from California, ok?

How cold is it? So cold I've resorted to playing Led Zeppelin's "Communication Breakdown" as loud as I can without waking the baby up.