Roger Bowen
May 25, 1932 - February 16, 1996
Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of Roger Bowen's passing. Even though I don't feel I knew him that well, he was a big influence on me in a lot of ways. His daughter, Katie Bowen-Kosh (above, with her dad), is a very important person in my life and through her I had the opportunity to get to know her father some in the late 80s. I don't think we ever had enough time together to get to know each other really well (he lived in New York and Katie and I lived in California), but I have great and lasting memories of him.
Back then he gave me an incredible walking tour of Manhattan, offering great detail about the history of each neighbourhood we passed through. Especially because of later events, I will always remember walking with him between the two towers of the World Trade Center. The buildings seemed so incredible to me at the time. Almost a force of nature in and of themselves. "50,000 people go to work every day in those buildings," Roger told me. I was totally awestruck. I don't even think the town where I lived at that time even had a population of 50,000.
Another time, after a fellow India Joze chef, Bill Forte, and I made a big Asian meal for the Bowens, Roger gave us one of the best compliments I've ever had about my cooking. "All of the dishes were great," he said, "but the rice was absolutely perfect and that's how you can tell it was cooked by a great chef." Or something to that effect. He also once surprised me by making a trip all the way to Princeton just to pick up a book I needed for my thesis.
Of course, Roger Bowen was also a famous actor. He played Col. Henry Blake in the M*A*S*H movie, was a co-founder of Chicago's Second City comedy troupe, among many other great accomplishments (see his biography link below). But that's not what I remember him for. The most important thing Roger Bowen taught me was how to be a great father to a daughter (or a son). I will never forget the relationship I witnessed between him and Katie. I don't even think they were aware I was watching, but Roger showed me what it is for a father to be loving, supportive, and emotionally present for his daughter, while at the same time respecting and honouring her as an adult with her own creative path in life. I always felt deeply honoured to be able to share in a small part of their relationship when we traveled to New York.
Another friend of mine who recently lost his father told me that his dad was and always will be his hero. He said that seeing the pictures on baby Amado on this blog eased his pain. "Now it's our turn to be heroes," my friend told me. Now, as a new father, I am so thankful that Roger Bowen showed me something about how to do this.
Peace, love, and blessing on Katie and everyone who loved Roger as we remember him at this time.
Here's a link to one of Roger Bowen's film biographies:
Dear Aaron, what a nice surprise to be here, almost 20 years later, hearing you share such beautiful memories of my father and of me. I remember that meal, and he was right about the rice. It was made by the greatest chef I ever knew. My love to you, Wendy & Amado. Katie.
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