Today seems like an appropiate day to admit this:When I was seven, I saw the movie Planet of the Apes and it changed my life. For years (it seems like) I had Planet of the Apes on the brain. In fact, I was so taken by Charlton Heston's portrayal of the time-warped astronaut Taylor, that I went around telling everyone that when I grew up I was going to change my name to Taylor. Taking it a step further, I decided I would also get plastic surgery so I would look just like Taylor.
I told this to one of my babysitters, and she said, "Aaron, you don't need plastic surgery, you're wonderful just as you are."
Heston went on to lead the National Rifle Association and become an iconic figure in conservative politics. So, in retrospect, I am glad I listened to my sitter's advice.
By the way, if you would like to pry those cold, dead, hands from his rifle, now would be the time.
R.I.P. Taylor
I thought you were going to say that the babysitter said, "You don't need plastic surgery, Aaron. You look just like Heston." I remember going to that movie. I remember I polished your shoes first. Mr. Heston probably would have approved, since he did go on to become the ultra-right always correct leading man to a hoard of conservatives. (But don't get me started.)
ReplyDeletei am wondering what the REAL Moses will be saying to him now! Hee!
ReplyDeletealso..funny and twisted bit about the cold bare hands..oh my!
Wow, I didn't even know what plastic surgery was as a kid. I guess you were the precocious kind.
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